HAHA just buy it! Love you Sam!
Size guide
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
| Length (inches) | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 |
| Width (inches) | 20 | 22 | 24 | 26 | 28 | 30 | 32 | 34 |